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Hey… Weight!

25 Oct

We all have our insecurities whether we like it or not. I know and I’ve been told a couple of times before, that we all should accept what’s been given to us, because we were made imperfect beings for a reason—for us to have our own unique identity. So why then do we feel insecure?

I’ve been very conscious of my body ever since I could remember. I’ve always hoped to be skinny. I really really want to be thin, but the thing is, I also realllllly love to eat! I began to tell myself to diet ever since I was 12, and guess what, until now I still tell myself I will start dieting tomorrow. I really just can’t give up food. I can’t give up eating.


People tell me I’m not fat. If I’m not fat, how come I feel fat? If only there’s a way to lose weight without having to go to the gym or without having to give up French fries! I probably would’ve done that by now. I really can’t imagine living life being unable to eat whatever it is that I want.Image

I guess it’s just really normal for people to focus and see more of the negative than the positive features they have. I really must admit that there are times when I really get frustrated with how I look, to the extent that I want to break down, stop eating and hurt myself. It’s crazy, I know. I think the reason why I feel so conscious with my figure is because my siblings are all obese. All my life they were twice or even thrice my size which I guess is why I really don’t want to be obese.  I mean, don’t get me wrong though, it’s not that I hate people who are obese, as a matter of fact, I love my siblings and I believe that being obese or skinny is just a matter of choice.



For me, I want to be skinny because I love fashion, and I love to be able to wear everything that I want. Because right now, it frustrates me whenever there are tops that I like but I can’t wear because they’re sleeveless tops and I don’t wear sleeveless tops because my arms are fat. This is why I always resort to cardigans whenever I’m wearing tops which expose my arms.

I want to start working out, but then again, I know I’ll never be able to go through with it. I really can’t help but wonder when I’ll be able to wear the tops I love to wear without being so conscious in them. Will that time ever come? Will I ever be thin? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see!