the fear of success (SABINE ROMOFF DURANO)

23 Oct

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ” – Coach Carter The Movie

The quote above is something I wanted to share because often times I get caught up in this city of blinding lights and fast paced life. I can say that i can be complacent when it comes to getting things done and I do fall short most of the time. Sometimes I’m faced with situations that I can still change for the better but I never seem to care enough to actually do something about this. This mindset of mine has been bugging me. Last year, I was in DLSU. All I did was play football and did as i pleased. I didn’t bother attending my classes and doing my work and basically it was a downhill path from there on. I never really gave this much thought because I felt invisible. I had my vices and it took over me. I stopped for awhile but then suddenly I felt like all this was becoming real. I thought i was in a dream and one day I woke-up and realized that i was just living my life and letting days pass me by dazed. I never understood why I was so scared to try harder and succeed. I never knew why I didn’t change my ways nor did i even bother to try and have a sense of balance. In the summer of 2012, things got real. I was faced with the results of my actions. Of course, it was typical of me to act on it then. Like a lego set, i tried to put back the pieces together, but i was too let the hero. Then I started to question myself and why I felt the need to always screw things over. I thought of this for quite some time and then i realized exactly why, I didn’t want to succeed. Theres this notion of success and how you get a good job, with a good salary, and that was everything i didn’t consider success as. i see success as finding what you love to do and being able to do that each day. What i would consider a nightmare was an image of me in a desk, timing in as i got into my office and so on. I didn’t want to succeed because then that would mean soon enough i would be held accountable for all my actions. I was raced with a safety net wherein everything i did, i never paid the price for. My parents would get me out of every jam i would get myself into and so I got accustomed to that. I was reliant on having them save me for the rest of my life. But you see, I took it upon myself to get rid of my wish bone and finally grow a back bone of my own.




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