Never Alone Lorenzo Godinez

21 Oct

 Ever since I was a young boy my family referred to me as a “scardy cat”, the reason being I have always been afraid of being alone in any room or enclosed area. I do not exactly understand how this happened to me but all I recall are some friends scaring me when I was quite young. The phobia of being alone was not bad in the beginning but the more these scaring incidents happened the more traumatized I would get. It started to grow on me as I grew older, these ghost stories or horror tales told to me were not fiction in my mind. I believed every single one that was told to me, this is probably the reason that I have a strong belief in the extraterrestrial beings.

                My family was exposed to this problem when I would always run into their room in the middle of the night when my maid would leave my room after I fell asleep. My sleeping arrangement when I was in grade school up to around 3rd year high school was that my maid or in the Philippines known as a “yaya” would wait in my room until I fell asleep and slowly sneak away. Up until the end of middle school my parents really didn’t pay much attention to this because they thought it was normal. They would tell me don’t worry you’ll get over it eventually it’s just a phase you go through when you’re young. It turns out they were wrong.

                As I entered high school I was feeling confident that this phase would pass. My parents tried helping me by forcing me to sleep alone and telling me that these ghosts or whatever I am scared of don’t exist. It got up to the point where my dad brought me to a psychiatrist to diagnose this problem. After having a few sessions with the doctor she was able to point out to me and my family that I would need to take medications for anxiety. Briefly what she said was that when I am alone my mind starts to race and overload with information, this information being about ghosts and whatever scary things I feared. This medication was to help me relax and make sure my anxiety did not reach an unmanageable level. Her reasoning for these attacks are traumatizing experiences when I was a kid.

                This is a problem that could have been easily avoided if proper guidance was observed. I know that I am partially to blame because I did want to believe many of the stories because I thought they were interesting but being young was probably what pushed me over the edge. From this I was able to take away a valuable lesson which was to not believe everything you hear or see, and also to stand up for yourself and not be able to be played around with by other people. 

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